Devildogs_Doll's Xanga

Our Okinawan Home: Settling In

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 06:29:51 GMT

For some reason, I kept myself going through my road trip thinking, "Okay, when we get to Japan...the chaos will be over, we can finally REST, settle in and get used to routines again..." but when we arrived in Japan, it was anything but. We woke up the next morning freaking out about all the things we needed to get done. My husband had to check into his unit at some point, we needed cars, we needed to find a home...we had no idea if we could still live off base because of a new rules the military threw out there about nobody being allowed to live off base. The reason was because nobody stationed in Okinawa really wants to live in the base housing here, which is often rumored to be old and full of mold. I've seen it. The housing isn't really all that bad if you don't mind concrete, sterile, box-like structures...but compared to what you can get out in town, it isn't all that great, either.

Of course, number one on my list was just to get OUT of the hotel room...so we decided to take a walk. Nothing on earth can prepare you for the humidity of Okinawa. I thought the Ohio river valley was bad, with it's swampy river valley heat. Hell, I thought southern Florida was brutal...but nothing prepared me for how humid it is here with air so thick you feel like you're swallowing it. I was fine at first...but then my husband said, "We could walk to the furniture store...It's right down the street..." and I was more than happy to avoid going back to sitting in a hotel room.

It became apparent to me that my husband's definition of 'right down the street' is much different than MY version of 'right down the street'. All the makeup melted off my face. I was sweating buckets...but we finally made it to the furniture store. While there, in a moment of desperation, we decided to buy strollers and attract the attention of the whole store by assembling them IN the store. The kids were even tired of walking through the heat and we had been carrying them for most of our walk. We started making the trek back UP the hill when I became sick. I couldn't walk. My legs just stopped working and I had to plop down on the ground.

The whole time, my husband is yelling at me. I had water and was gulping it down like a fish, but it wasn't doing me any good. My body was saying, "Screw you!"

We kept trying to walk...I would make it about twenty feet and I'd have to sit down again. I was hoping I wouldn't pass out. Meanwhile, I was noticing a base phenomenon: The Newbie-Fascination Factor. People were so rude as to slow down, STARE at us, realize that I was in trouble...and just keep driving. It's obvious on base who is a newbie...they are the ones walking around in 100° heat because they can't bear to be stuffed up in the West Pac Lodge, anymore. All the sane people are in cars. I am still angered that not one person even stopped to say, "Are you all right?" I was cursing at my husband to get a cab, which he should have done before his wife died of heat stroke, but it didn't seem to concern him. I'm not one of his Marines. I'm a woman with a history of heat-sickness, damnit, and somewhere, he forgot this. Eventually, we made it to the top of the hill and into a Taco Bell where I sat for an hour, air-conditioner hungry and drinking everything I could get my hands on. I will never forget this and my husband will never get off my shit list because of it.

Before we left for Japan, I had to be inspected by a military dentist to make sure my teeth were in good shape. I had to have my complete medical history relinquished to the military. I didn't like this idea. I had to admit that I'd just had a major panic attack within the last 6 months. So much for your right to privacy about your medical records. When your husband gets orders and if you want to have a snowball's chance in hell of seeing him, you have to drop down your guard and hand all that stuff over. What was shocking to me is that a surprisingly large number of people get rejected to go with their spouse. I was afraid they would reject me because of my stupid panic attack and I'd spend months explaining that it really wasn't because I was crazy while people gave me the "yeah, right" look.

There is a whole list of things that can get you disqualified: Mental disorders chief among those. They wouldn't even send some people over because they were on or had been on anti-depressants. Basically any medical condition that requires a specialist will be turned down. This has caused a lot of grief for some spouses I know. They couldn't get orders to go over, but guess who still had to? Luckily, the unaccompanied tours were shortened to one year instead of three...but still, one year away from your family in someplace with a reputation for hookers? It's enough to end many marriages or cause them severe distress.

I can't imagine Blaine being over here alone. The guys stationed here talk about cheap hookers non-stop. They talk about it with the nonchalance one would use talking about going to McDonald's for lunch...and the quality of the hookers is probably about the same - cheap, greasy, bad for your health...and instead of Happy Meal toys, you get crabs or Syphilis. No woman in her right mind wants to leave her husband in a place where all they have to do is walk down a certain alley and women will hang their heads out the window and whisper, "Hey, G.I....over here!" and I don't care how much you trust your husband. The thought always goes through your head. It's one of those military stigmas that lives on in infamy...and disgusts virtually everyone.

We were informed, that evening, that we both had a housing brief and a mandatory newcomer's brief that we had to attend that week. This was a first for me. The military has never told me I had to attend a mandatory meeting before...Okay, besides that one our housing people said we must attend because of the psycho women on our street. They later cancelled that and only made the troublemakers attend. The only mandatory thing I'd had to do previously was submit all those medical records. I had never been told I had to attend anything, so I was actually looking forward to this. I was hoping to get some more insight into the place we'd been sent to. I don't know what I was hoping for honestly...

Before we attended the newcomer's brief, we had to attend the housing brief to tell us all about the housing available to us, all about the loaner military furniture, etc. Our sponsor picked us up and took us to the brief and kept our kids for a few hours. The only thing we wanted to know was if we were going to get to live off base. The answer to that was: "You have until August 1st..." That was two weeks away...so my husband and I high-fived each other and immediately started making plans to live off base. Someone else told us they wouldn't be searching for places so fast...they said command might lay down the law earlier. We decided to risk it, but at the same time try to get a message to his command asking if it was okay. His unit was in Australia for training, at the time.

We signed up to have housing agencies contact us at the main housing office. We had not even left the office yet...and all of a sudden, we were getting phone calls. Massive amounts of phone calls. Literally, my husband's phone was ringing constantly with some over-eager housing agent dying to show us a house. My husband eventually started asking, "Does it have an ocean view? At least three bedrooms? Well, then we're not interested, right now...but if you have anything like that, please call me back."

After that, we had appointment after appointment lined up. One already for that day. Three for the next day. The first place we went, we looked at a place that overlooked the greenest river you've ever seen...and also overlooked some large, Japanese tombs that kind of freaked me out. It was also up this steep, tiny windy road that would have given me a panic attack just to maneuver, but we liked it...and we went to sleep that night thinking it might be the place if tomorrow didn't bring anything better.

The next morning, another housing agent picked us up. I immediately wanted the first place he showed us. It was 3 bedrooms, marble floors, ceiling fans, but I could have cared less...it was the view you immediately saw when you stepped in the door. Looking down the hallway, you saw a wall of windows framing the most perfect view of the ocean....No obstructions whatsoever, just pure aqua, blue-green water. I was hypnotized by the view and rushed through looking at the other bedrooms just so I could go step out onto that balcony and see this view. Of course, I let my sensible side get the best of me and started calculating exactly why we could not live here, but it was already set in my mind. This was the place I wanted. We went and saw another 3 bedroom place that I just didn't like as much...same layout as the other place...view wasn't so nice and it was near a sewage drain and smelled. We saw another place with a similar layout...but with four bedrooms. That was the place Blaine wanted. You could see the ocean from this place, too...but again, nothing like the view from the other place.

We looked at a really huge concrete house that was so hot I thought my face would melt off. The room sizes were absolutely enormous and all I could think was that the place would be HELL to cool. We went back to the hotel room that night, exhausted...and all I could think of was that first apartment. My husband was still talking about the four-bedroom apartment. I sighed and confessed that I was in love with the first.

"Well, you want it then? Let's just get it...that's fine with me!" he picked up the phone and called and my heart sank as I heard him say, "Oh, really? Well, what about the four bedroom place? Are you kidding? That one's gone too? Okay, well...thank you."

Then, he turned to me scratching his head, "They're gone. All three apartments that guy showed us are already leased now."

I wanted to cry. I had come that close to having a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to live by the ocean? I was pissed. My husband tried reassuring me by saying, "Hey, we don't even know if my command is going to approve living off base anyway..."

The next few days, we searched for another place to call home. Nothing. Everything paled in comparison. We were kicking ourselves for not saying, immediately, "We want it!" I went out with a housing agent, one day. A young guy who spoke perfect English and had a lot of fun discussing American culture versus Japanese culture with him. He was a great guy...but the places he showed us just weren't big enough. When I came back from house-hunting my husband gestured to a quiche on the table. The Master Gun's wife had brought it by along with a salad and some fruit. I told him that was very nice of her and reminded him to get me her phone number so I could call and say thank you. Unfortunately, he would forget and I would forget in the whirlwind of stuff we had going on.

We saw another place with another housing agent that we really liked...that is, we liked the housing agent. Not really the house so much. She was an Okinawan girl who married a military guy and moved to America with him. Eventually, she had come back home. Her name was Mina and we told her to call us if she found anyplace else...but we didn't expect to hear anything. I was running out of hope and the phone had stopped ringing. About the same time, my husband's command got back to those left behind in his unit. They told my husband that the command's reply was, "We don't give a shit where the Staff Sergeant lives"...literally. Well, there was one question answered.

We went to our newcomer's brief and the whole time, I was sitting there and wondering if anyone had tried to call us about the perfect place...and we'd missed it because we were sitting in this boring brief. Where I thought we'd get more discussion about the island, culture, and basically how not to piss anyone off...Instead, we got to sit and listen to eight hours of talks about equal-opportunity, sexual harassment, what's going to happen to you if you commit an offense on the island, etc. I didn't come here to rob, pillage, or rape...I just wanted to know the basics of getting by.

It was interesting to see the variety of people in the newcomer's brief. I had this weird lieutenant that had to have been no older than twenty-two looking me up and down in this, "I'm better than you" look. He wasn't checking me out. I know that look. This was a look of pure condescension: A fresh Lieutenant with a chip on his shoulder. He had a wife who was probably even younger than he was. She looked like a preteen Victoria Beckham with a baby. I was once again struck by how young some of these guys are...and how bizarre and stupid it is that my husband ultimately would have to answer to this 22 year-old snooty Lieu-Lieu and Vicky Beckham Jr. would expect me to be her suboordinate.

My husband says there are good officers and bad ones. The bad ones don't respect experience. The good ones respect it and learn to use it to their advantage. I'm not talking THEIR experience, because they really don't have any, but the experience of Enlisted guys who will be under their direction. My husband loves the new Lieutenants that realize the way the system works...and hates the ones who enter into the Great USMC with a power trip on Day One. Unfortunately, there are wives that also adopt these attitudes, which are pretty baseless when you don't have a rank to your name (aka. the old wench from our neighborhood...the "I don't speak to 10-year gunnys" lady. Her husband got promoted to 1st Sergeant and she quit talking to all of us all together, of course) so when you get a group of wives in mixed company, the observations are always interesting.

Here, you had a room full of all ranks...and all people. Middle-aged wives who looked like they couldn't wait until all this was over, 30-somethings excited to get away from wherever they were last, 20-somethings ready to settle down and set up house, late teenage wives with white knuckles on pens scribbling down notes and terrified...You couldn't really tell who was an officer's wife and who wasn't if their husbands weren't next to them in uniform. You start realizing that these people are really from all walks of life. An officer can marry a girl who lived in a trailer park all her life and never attended a day of college. An Enlisted guy can have a whip-smart laywer wife. You never really know...but we were all nearly nodding off the rest of the day...and didn't learn much other than to stay out of trouble. We were all united in one glorious moment....of total boredom.

The next morning, we had Mina, the housing agent we really liked, give us a call. She said that one of the apartments had opened up in one of the buildings we had told her about that we liked. Someone's lease had fallen through. She gave us the name of the building and I told Blaine, "I don't think that was the one we wanted, though...but still...let's go see it, look at it again and then we can just sign the paperwork."

She asked us if we could be ready in five minutes. We flew to get ready, excited...Would it be the one with the wall of beautiful ocean view? Would it be the one with the partial ocean view that was nice, but kind of smelled like the sewage drain? Maybe we could remedy that...or would it be the four-bedroom...could I have my own exercise room? We were so excited we could hardly stand it. When we got to the building, I started shrieking at poor Mina, "Oh my GOD!!! This is the one we wanted!!!" It was. We drove into the parking garage, parked, and ran upstairs only to see...a line out the door of the apartment.

Literally, there was a LINE of families waiting to see the apartment! Families that we recognized from our housing brief and the newcomer's brief. My heart fell for the second time. "This was IT!" I told her, sighing...All these other people had turned to look at us and they were laughing nervously about all of us wanting to see this apartment. And then, Blaine had an idea at the same time I had it. "Mina?" he whispered, "We've already seen it. We want it...We don't have to tour it again...Can you make a phone call before one of the other agents and see if we can still get it?" Mina's eyes lit up and and she started dialing. I felt wrong. I felt like a snake...I wasn't sure about the ethical principles of snagging the apartment while people were still touring it...but for once, I decided I'm too damn nice and it was time to shut up.

Mina made the call and snapped her phone shut, "Come on, guys...It's done..."

I didn't believe her...and then I just turned, grinned at her and told her she was the most awesome housing agent ever. Thank God for small victories. I was bummed about not getting to see the place again...and I also wasn't 100% sure we had DEFINITELY gotten the place. She had just called someone in her office...who had to call the leasing agent who was in charge of renting the place out. If someone else called first, they could still get it...and I wasn't prepared for that kind of heartache again. Blaine went home to get a check for her and I went back to our hotel to wait in disbelief that didn't fade until the day we moved into our Okinawa dream apartment.

Meanwhile, we were still living at the West Pac Lodge and we needed cars. We found a few - a guy and his family were leaving the island and had not one but two cars they needed to sell - a van and a Toyota Celica that was, unfortunately for me, a stick. Blaine swore he would teach me and I swore to learn because it was only $2500 for both cars. Of course, driving on the island would prove more difficult than I would have thought. They drive on the right side of the car here...on the left side of the road. Three months and I still haven't driven except for on base...as for driving that stick? Ah, forget it! I can't imagine driving a stick with my left hand, let alone my right. I think we're going to have to sell that one and get another automatic.

To drive here, you have to take a driver's test...which means studying a traffic manual and learning all the Japanese road signs. Everyone passed the test in my class and we all got these SOFA (Status of Forces Agreement) driver's licenses.

It's funny, the day you graduate from the West Pac is the day you feel like your life in Okinawa really begins. We got to move our suitcases out of the West Pac and into our new apartment. The furniture and household goods all showed up and we had fun unpacking everything and seeing familiar items again. The kids were thrilled to see their bikes and toys again. It was like Christmas for us. I immediately wanted to unpack everything and make it seem like home...but with kids, it doesn't always work that way so it's kind of been a one-day-at-a-time thing. I unpack a box every week...We're now down to only a few scattered boxes. We're also running out of storage space because our Okinawan home isn't quite as big as the large place we had in the states.

But with the view....Who can complain?

Taken from our balcony

Our room at the West Pac Lodge

Crazy Japanese TV - hysterical

Our Okinawa home

Wills, Updates, Flying into Okinawa

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 15:58:06 GMT

Wow, so...I'm behind, again...but I have good excuses!

I did do a protected post a few weeks ago...but maybe I can talk a little about it here. There has been so much going on. So to get the depressing news out of the way, my father-in-law has been diagnosed with lung cancer. Not the kind that you may live 5 years or so with...the kind that kills you within a few years, most likely. He has small-cell lung cancer. He's asked us all not to talk about it because I guess he doesn't want the community at large sympathizing with him and all that. I can respect that. On the other hand, I don't see the harm in blogging about it. After all, I have no adults to talk to. I need to release some stress, right?

Of course, the family is all freaking out and you have family members trying to take up positions of authority in breaking news about my father-in-law and small family squabbles are always on the brink of occurring. This is also happening on my mom's side of the family and my grandparents aren't even dead yet. It makes me want to cringe...and just pray that my grandparents and my husband's father have very detailed, already laid out wills...which also makes me think of something:

I am going to make a will.

They say anyone who has kids should make a will, but who really does? I mean, at our ages? But let's face it - we live in a foreign country now. We're going to be flying a lot. Anything could happen. We're not rich, we certainly don't have massive amounts of material possessions...but we do have kids and they deserve this. I also have realized that you should make a will BEFORE YOU EVER GET SICK. Let's say you come down with a terminal illness - all of a sudden, everyone around you goes insane. These won't be the people you knew once. All of a sudden, people who never gave a shit suddenly will. They will be at your bedside sponging your forehead and saying "Go into the light" prayers. At some point, they will ask you if you have a will. They will offer to write it for you. They will hint that THEY are the ones by your bedside while nobody else could be bothered. You will be in an easily-swayed state and not realizing that the world doesn't stop for one person's illness, these days. Many employers are jerks who only care about the bottom line and who could care less about your personal tragedy:

"Let me get this straight....your mother is dying? Well...uh, how long do you think this could take? It's not like she really needs your assistance to die or anything, right? I don't mean to sound insensitive...it's just that we're really busy here..."

When you are on your deathbed and not thinking clearly, it is not time to make a will. You're not going to see through cousin Larry's bullshit very well when he's the only soul you've seen while those who really love you are busy fighting with their bosses over the extent of your illness. So that's my rant about wills - make one!

On the other hand, you're saying, "Shut the hell up about this crap and tell us about Japan already..." I've had more stuff happening, but I guess that can wait and I can add all that later...

Okay, so here you go....The kids weren't too bad on the plane, but they were really obnoxious in the airports. I hate LAX. I hate it. I hate the whole damn city of Los Angeles, actually, and I've never made a secret of that. Been there quite a few times only to see hundreds of thousands of poseurs bitter about not being discovered and people who honestly don't realize they live in a total garbage pit. In LAX, you will find airport employees who actually DO seem to realize that they live in a garbage pit and who also seem to hate it there as much as I do. Only they are public service employees and their only reprieve is to take it out on everyone around them and most act like they have an oversized carry-on shoved up their ass.

In LAX, we almost missed our plane because the security guys decided to redirect the security lines no less than 3 times. We made the plane, flew 12 hours and watched some crappy Renée Zellweger movie about her in some northeastern town with a lot of snow and 'He's Just Not That Into You'...which bugged me because I can remember back in the day when I worshiped Bridget Jones and any woe-is-me chick flick about dating. WHY?!?!

Now Tokyo is like the polar opposite of LAX. We landed, walked into a very clean airport. Where people in LAX look like the hippie version of 'Night of the Living Dead', Tokyo's airport was full of neat, clean, well-groomed people and people wearing masks across their faces as if they actually cared about germs. I couldn't tell if they were really worried about getting sick...or if this was their weird way of paying homage to Michael Jackson...but anyway...

We experienced our first bit of cultureshock in the form of "ROOK AT THE RITTLE BRONDE KIDS!!!!" Our kids were celebrities for about an hour. We also got to experience a little bit of traveler's horror. We waited by the baggage claim...and we waited...and waited...one of our bags was missing. Blaine started freaking out and seemed to be saying repetitively, "We're in a foreign country....and we've lost a bag....we're in a foreign country...and we've lost a bag..." I was trying to restrain the kids who wanted to run in opposite directions. I finally yelled at Blaine to go ask someone...and he yelled back that he didn't speak Japanese. Eventually, he did and then I saw a feat of customer service like no other. This little Japanese woman listened to my husband, talked into a radio and said, "They are checking, right now, to see if there is any more bags..." in perfect English. Then, she took off.

We stood there freaking out for five minutes in the now completely-empty baggage claim area. All our fellow passengers were gone on their way to wherever and we were stuck standing there waiting on a lost bag and trying to remember exactly what was in that bag. Soon, the lady came out WITH our bag...she had actually found it and was carrying it. Not only did she carry it to us, she brought it to the check-in desk with us. She instructed the people to help us because we were running late for our connecting flight to Okinawa because of the mishap. We were being treated like royalty. The airline employees even picked up our kids and carried them through security with me running behind them thinking, "What the hell are they doing with my children?" They put us on a shuttle bus in which there was an old lady who immediately looked us up and down and put her scarf over her nose. Either she thought we smelled or she was afraid of catching something from us like the OCD crowd behind us in the terminal. I couldn't help but feel kind of hurt....and at the same time, it made me feel the animalistic urge to go up and cough on her, scream, "We're all healthy!" or something...

You have to remember, this was three months ago when Swine Flu was still not an overly common affliction. I understand that now flu season has started, everyone and their dog seems to have battled H1N1.

The flight to Okinawa was short...and I was tired. I zonked out and seemed like I woke up right as the flight was landing. It was nighttime in Okinawa and I was bummed. I wanted to see it as we were flying in. I had heard it's beyond beautiful from the air. After we unloaded our sleepy kids and started walking through the airport, I started hitting my husband up with questions, "You DID arrange a ride for us, right? We're not going to be stranded here are we?" The only thing in the world I wanted was a bed. I have never been so tired in my life. My husband kept repeating, "I don't know..." We claimed our bags, all of them and then made our way out into a crowd of people waiting to pick up passengers. I saw a sign that said our last name and was so overjoyed, I could have hugged the guy. His name was Brian...and he was not only giving us a ride home...he was our sponsor.

Sponsors are people who are assigned to help you out when you get to an overseas duty station. We must have been blessed by God to have Brian as our sponsor. He told us all about the island as he loaded us into a van he had borrowed to pick us up. I was so tired and so in shock that I was just looking at all the large signs in Japanese. Here, I thought we were going to be on some small, quiet island...but there were bright, flashing neon signs everywhere. The streets were filled with people walking. I suddenly started feeling really overwhelmed.

We got to our hotel...that's about all I remember. I was so unbearably tired. We got a room on base and my head hit the pillow after getting the cranky kids set up on a pull-out sofa bed. They were asleep instantly.

In the morning, we woke up and already had a woman wanting to take us out to dinner. I begged my husband to cancel...BEGGED him. I was so tired there was no way in hell I was going anywhere. Apparently, this woman was the wife of my husband's Master Gunnery Sergeant. I appreciated the offer, but I just couldn't get over the jet lag. I was later to find out this was going to be a big mistake. But I'm now feeling just as tired as that night several months ago when we arrived in Okinawa...and I need to sleep. It's 2 a.m. here.

I will continue this tomorrow...and I may also have to buy premium again because this simple text editor is really annoying. I like being able to format my text without having to format it all myself with html, which I no longer even remember. Is this worth buying premium over? Is nobody leaving the Xanga party anytime soon? Because if you're all planning on sticking around, then I'll cough up the funds for the premium...See you tomorrow!

Kanye's the Reason for the Teardrops on Taylor's Guitar

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 08:58:20 GMT

Okay, so the Kanye/Taylor thing has almost run its course...but I couldn't help making one final joke about it...

Kanye looks at me

I hold my award so tightly

That I won…and I need

That jackass to stay away from me

But oh crap, here he comes and

I’m freaking out, oh no

Where is security?
He’s just got to go

Kanye walks up to me
Other people laugh
They think it’s scripted, see

But he grabs the microphone

So close I see designs on his dome

He says, “Imma let you finish"
What the hell kinda word is ‘imma’?

“Beyonce had video of the year…”

I’m as hurt as Perez is queer

CHORUS:
Kanye’s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

The only thing that keeps me wishin’ he’d go back to the bar

His were the songs in the car I kept singing
Now like hell I do…

Kanye hates us white folk

Doesn’t know 'whites only' just means no yolk

And my skin is white as snow

Which turns Kanye into instant assho’

He ain’t never wrote a song
‘Bout nothin’ but himself

And he’s just pissed off
Cause there’s not more awards on his shelf

CHORUS

Next time he even tries
To pull this kind of trick
I’m gonna make good on my name

And give him a Swift kick

Conclusion of our Road Trip...(Part IV)

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 07:40:35 GMT

Here we go...last post of the road trip. I know people are probably going, "Oh God, not more videos..." when I thought maybe it would go over better than my lengthy prose over what all has been going on. Either nobody is out there anymore (helloooo...hellooo...hello...hello?) or people actually prefer prose? In any case, this post has a lot of videos. Some of it are cute stuff my kids were doing. I know, boring to most people. I get it! Who gives a crap about someone else's kids doing cute stuff? Well, humor me...all right?

There are some good videos here...or maybe I'm biased, but my husband's video about shaving off his beard was pretty frickin' hysterical and you must watch the video at the end. Trust me on this one.

Anyway, it's taken me a long time to edit and upload these. There really hasn't been all that much going on in my life other than trying to get used to the time change and establish a routine with two kids who aren't used to routines anymore. It doesn't help that their father's new work schedule keeps changing. I will tell you about all that later, but here's good news - now that I'm almost 100% updated, I won't need to write boring update posts and I can just talk about stuff...all kinds of stuff! I'm reclaiming my blog. Entering the Xangasphere again. So please, I normally don't beg, but rec me to your friends or something. Let people know I'm here...I feel lonely. I thought California was lonely, but now I'm somewhere where most of the people don't even speak my language and I'm really lonely. Like Lost in Translation without Scarlett-bitchface-Johanssen only just as boring. I haven't even found a Bill Murray to talk to, though. Of course that would be difficult having kids. It would be something entitled more like Lost in Translation Over the Sound of Screaming Kids.

Here is the final road trip post...Next up - Okinawa! And amusing shit from the place that's famous for well...uh, weird shit!

July 2nd, 2009

2:36 p.m. - Blaine wants to know if the Amish are tasty at an Amish buffet. On the road again in Indiana.
5:10 p.m. - llinois and Indiana suck to drive through.

What's the fun of having kids if you can't do silly things to them while they are sleeping?

5:10 p.m. - Close to St.Louis and the trucker porn megaplex that is Missouri.

Cullen and Cait singing a song from 'Go, Diego, Go'...They are saying 'Mas abajo'
but it sounds kind of like they are singing 'monster butthole'. It makes me laugh.

My son dancing to 'Seven Nation Army'...and looking completely possessed.

July 3rd, 2009

St. Louis, Missouri
(By the way, Missouri - I apologize. This time through, there weren't near as many
porn shops and billboards. Thank your representatives or something!)

Kids talking on their pretend phones. Okay, this one is pretty darn cute.
Cullen & Cait are best buddies.

5:51 p.m. - Made it to Tulsa about three a.m.and have spent most of today napping. We leave early tomorrow a.m.

July 4th, 2009

1:23 p.m. - Left Tulsa about a half hour ago.

Horse hanging its' head out the window like a dog
I have NO idea why I found this so amusing!

3:08 p.m. - Why is it that every time we have to drive through western Oklahoma,there are severe storms?! The last place you want to be in a storm.
3:36 p.m. - Just drove through the scariest thunderstorm I have EVER seen near Weatherford, OK. Green sky, high wind, dust clouds, rotation, lightning
3:42 p.m. - Scariness is not over yet...another severe storm ahead. Pray for us and let us know if there are any tornado warnings. We wouldnt know.
5:56 p.m. - In the state that God blessed and sent angels down to dance...and something about yellow roses.
6:28 p.m. - Went under more scary wall clouds but hopefully clear skies ahead. Got video this time. Just outside of Amarillo. Need to eat, pee, nap.

Storms throughout Texas & Oklahoma - one hell of a wall cloud in the final shots In the beginning
of the video, you can see what looks like a tornado trying to form behind us. You can't see the top
of the funnel cloud (though we saw it further down the road), but you can see the dust clouds being
kicked up. Scared the hell out of me. Same damn thing happened on our last road trip.

We were relieved to stop at a gas station and chill (fight) for a while. We were very sad that we didn't
get to spend the 4th just chilling with family or watching fireworks. The ones we saw from the highway
were the only fireworks we really got to experience. However, all that would be more than made up for
when we got to Okinawa...as you will see in my next blog!

July 5th, 2009

8:08 a.m. - Good morning from Tucumcari. Today's agenda: get to Phoenix. Next day - drive back to Camp Pendleton and stay there overnight, if we can even get a hotel on base. The next day, take care of last minute business on base...then head up to Los Angeles. Stay overnight in Los Angeles and then fly to Okinawa on the 8th. That answer everyone's questions?We are completely insane.
11:28 a.m. - Driving through Albuquerque. Kids are in the backseat having a convo and making me laugh.
5:10 p.m. - Stuck in traffic on backroads near Payson,AZ. No idea what is going on. Accident?
5:15 p.m. - Hellsgate Fire Dept trucks just passed. Tell me that's not ominous as all hell. LOL
5:45 p.m. - Traffic finally dispersed with no clue as to what caused the jam. Man, the locals here drive like jerks. Cullen says he wants the sun to go away and for it to always be dark because fireworks live in the dark.

You've probably seen kids that don't like the sun in their eyes...but have you
ever seen a kid actually try to FIGHT the sun? Well, you're about to...

Everyone who has seen this so far has loved it - Blaine
finally lets go of the beard...And has some fun doing it.

11:31 p.m. - Up too late in Phoenix trying to catch up with everyone on Facebook. From here on out, it might be kind of hard to get in touch with me...Our cell phones will no longer be working after we leave for Japan so the text updates will stop. I will try to get online when I can get a connection in the next few days.

July 6th, 2009

6:55 p.m. - In Yuma,AZ. Kids are being angels. These are not my children.
7:28 p.m. - In Cali again, literally looking at Mexico over the border fence,right now.

July 7th, 2009

10:49 a.m. - Spent night @ Celeste's and went to Ihop for brkfst. Someone farted in the entrance. Can still smell it in my nose. Abt to toss my crepes.
10:57 a.m. - Cait is in the backseat crying that she wants to go in the spaceship? No idea what she is talking about. My bum IS kinda sore today...
11:50 a.m. - Finishing up business on Camp Pendleton,today. That's where we are now. Caitie is still crying about her spaceship.
1:11 p.m. - At the military ID office,I drew a blank on what the date is. I have lost all concept of date and time. I am coasting on autopilot.
3:38 p.m. - Sitting outside an Embassy Suites in Los Angeles while Blaine is checking about our room. Watching airplanes take off with Cait.
5:25 p.m. - Chilling out in our hotel while the husband drives the car back down to San Diego. I'm suddenly very sad to say goodbye to that car that got us all the way across country and back again four times now...Actually, this whole thing is sad. This is my last night in the United States for a while...Wow, this military stuff is insane.

July 8th, 2009

9:32 a.m. - I swear I was a bird in a past life. I eat like one, I have terrible nervous anxiety like one...and when I get nervous, well let's just say the bathroom is my best friend.
9:33 a.m. - Packing up stuff in the hotel room and I'm so nervous that I keep snapping at anyone who attempts to hold a conversation with me. I'm just afraid we're going to leave something behind, not pack something right, or SOMETHING. We will be leaving for the airport in about 10 minutes.
9:42 a.m. - Okay...and we're off to the airport...after I use the bathroom again. My nerves are killing me!
1:17 p.m. - Barely made the flight. No time to call anyone. Taxiing now.
1:24 p.m. - We are United 891 to Tokyo.

Probably the longest it ever took me to edit a video. I cried like a baby making this one. You will see why.
I know I don't have many readers anymore on a blog that used to have more subscribers than I could keep
up with, but those who have been with me the last six years experienced a lot of what is in this video with me.
I've started blogging on Xanga right about the time some of those first pictures were taken...and despite a
terrible year, last year, where I was so choked up with sadness that I could hardly utter a humorous sentence,
some of you have still stuck by me and have become more than blog buddies, but friends - Thank You!

Now I will try to continue with normal blogging...I need to for my sanity! I have so much to share, sometimes, and nobody to share it with. So hopefully, I'll be welcomed back to the Xanga blogging community with open arms. I'm not tired of blogging...I never was, but have you ever went through a "dark" period in life that was so bad you didn't want to talk about it because you were afraid people would start thinking of you as Debbie Downer? That's totally what happened. It wasn't that I quit caring or didn't miss Xanga. I just didn't want to be "That Girl". The one who blogs incessantly about depressing things. So, as you can tell from the last few posts, I'm back!

Notes From the Road - Part III - From Tulsa to Cincinnati

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 06:51:30 GMT

June 21, 2009

11:03pm - Tomorrow morning we leave for Cincinnati...been really enjoying this time with family and we're very sad that we all live so far away.

June 22, 2009

Pointless tour of our hotel room...but hey, I'm a curious person so I think things like this are cool

12:11pm - Left Tulsa. Passing through Muskogee...I tried to avoid the cliche but what the hell, we're on the road again.
3:03pm - In Arkansas. Arkansas accent = Immovable jaw of the California accent + rough southern drawl. You almost need a translator.
3:38pm - We just drove by a woman breastfeeding her baby while driving. In some really unexplainable way, that was awesome,hilarious,and scary.
4:39pm - In Little Rock.
5:03pm - Blaine & I are changing lyrics to Stupified to reflect insane french fry cravings."Look @ my face,stupid @$$hole,I need some stupid fries!!"
5:15pm - Billboard outside Little Rock: "Use the rod on your children and you might save their life" This state would give hippies a heart attack.
5:35pm - New lyrics for 'Take my breath away' = 'Tom Cruise made me gay...tape my breasts I'm gay!' Just do a search on Kelly McGillis. You'll get it
7:44pm - About to cross the Mississippi into Memphis,Tennessee.

Crossing the Mississippi into Memphis...and a strange sense of déja vu

9:46pm - Once again,must have gotten off freeway in bad part of town near Memphis, but Blaine claims that ALL of Memphis is a bad part of town.
10:37pm - We have been living in a Hampton Inn the last week. We just drove by another one earlier and Cullen said,"Look! There's our house!"

June 23rd, 2009

12:33am - Dickson,Tennessee - were thinking about getting a hotel room,but I think we're going to keep going...Nashville a.m.traffic is madness.
1:51am - We're in Kentucky! Yay! (time change)
5:29am - We parked to nap. Everyone else is sleeping,but I am ready to go.
6:16am - 63 miles from Louisville,close to Abraham Lincoln's birthplace,sun is rising through the fog...Kentucky is beautiful!

People don't understand why I love Kentucky so much...but this is only part of why...
Music: 'Mercy' by Band of Annuals

6:50am - Getting lost in rural KY trying to find Abraham Lincoln's birthplace.
10:53am - Made it to Cincinnati.

June 24th, 2009

11:21pm - Spent most of yesterday sleeping, adjusting time zones again. Today we went on a duck tour (bus that converts to a boat) of downtown Cincinnati & Ohio river. We also went to the aquarium...then Blaine and I had a nice dinner & shopped for a while. I'm so ready for bed it isn't funny!

I'm going to redo this one because I used the wrong aspect ratios, but you get the idea.
Newport's Ride the Ducks...It's like a van that becomes a boat and takes you up and down the Ohio river.
Got to hear some really interesting facts about my home city and I'm excited to show you where I came from!

Some beautiful scenery, more facts about Cincinnati/Kentucky...and singing 'YMCA' down the streets of Cincinnati

Now THIS is cool...Absolutely a must watch in HD so click the little 'HD' button on the YouTube browser!
This is the Newport Aquarium...We got some pretty cool video of sharks in HD at the end.
Music - 'Whisperchill' by Liquid Mind

11:25pm - Oh yes...friends & family - Mom is having an 'open house' for those who want to come by and hang out with us this Saturday. Seriously, EVERYONE is invited - don't feel weird. You can come by anytime between noon to whenever. Thinking it might be fun if friends showed up later. Maybe we can have a fire outside, smores, lots of bug spray and all that fun stuff. If you need directions, ask!

June 25th, 2009

Cullen tells an Obama joke. No, it isn't racist...and no, actually...I didn't teach it to him. His Auntie Jamie did so she could have him torture our mother.
My mother is a hardcore Democrat, my step-father is a hardcore Republican. I like telling people I come from a broken home.

6:26pm - Yes, Michael Jackson & Farrah Fawcett died...No, I'm not going to write all about it in my status...Oh...crap.Just got home from doing some shopping and I'm tired. Maybe I'll call it an early night, tonight.

June 26th, 2009

11:24pm - Went to music store and played guitars for hours today at the same guitar store my dad used to go to. We also heard something funny today while eating lunch. A mentally challenged couple came in and sat behind us and were talking very loudly. One of them pulled out a dollar bill and yelled really loudly, "THIS DOLLAR BILL LOOKS RETARDED!!!" I may be going to hell for smiling, but come on, how could you not?

June 27th, 2009

Blaine & Cullen playing in the park. Oh come on, it's just frickin' cute to see Blaine being a good Daddy.

6:40pm - Sorry to friends I have not called, yet. Will do soon! This time change has really messed me up more than the others and I'm not sure why. Had most of my family over today...was nice to see so many familiar faces. Now, I'm absolutely exhausted and could take a nap. We have been doing SOMETHING tiring every single day. Can you ask for a vacation from your vacation?

June 28th, 2009

10:38am - Asphyxiating myself on perfume under my nose because my mom's dogs smell so bad and I need to use the computer in the kitchen where they are hanging out. lol - Why God, did you make me SO hyper-sensitive to smells? I should get a job at the airport.
11:14am - Okay, wtf? Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Billy Mays...That's four...I thought actors/singers/TV personalities were supposed to die in threes?

June 30th, 2009

12:39am - Just wrapped up a bonfire and beer. Tired now...Need to get to bed but have to finish up some laundry. The guys are going shooting tomorrow. All I really want to do is go shopping. I needs me some itemz before being shipped to a tropical island whose native tongue I do not speak for 3 years and an undependable commissary stock.

---------------------------------------

So that was Cincinnati! We did a LOT of stuff while we were there...Not only all of the above, but we also took the kids to King's Island, one day, and we also had a little birthday party for the kids. Cullen's birthday was in June, mine is today, Cait's is in September...but we knew we were in for some lonely birthdays so we tried to celebrate with the family and get it on video for the kids. I started a YouTube channel to upload videos for the family and friends who want to keep up. I'll probably share a lot of the more universally-appealing ones on here...but if you want to keep up with our videos, check me out here: http://www.youtube.com/user/fenderchick1977 - More videos there that I haven't posted here.

By this point in the road trip, I was tired of the whole road trip and wishing we never did it...and anxiety was mounting. We left on July 2nd and had to make a mad dash back to California to catch our plane on July 8th! Next should be the final installment of our U.S. visit....Next entry: St. Louis, horse heads, fun with sleeping children, scary severe weather (again!), Blaine ditches his beard in steps, we say goodbye to California, and the plane sets off for Japan!

Notes from the road - Pt II (Phoenix - Tulsa)

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 00:46:30 GMT

June 14th, 2009

Holbrook, Arizona - Getting first glimpse of painted desert which I truly believe is one of the most beautiful places on earth. - 3:11 PM
Anyone who used to read my blog remembers the entry about touching truck stop door handles...yeah, you bet I am still thinking about it. - 3:26 PM

Blaine's now nearly-infamous car dancing...Cullen joins in - Like father, like son I guess...

Now leaving Arizona, entering New Mexico - 4:07 PM

Scenery in Eastern Arizona and Western New Mexico
Albuquerque and we are still alive! Getting ready to drive through some stormy weather, though. I am crazy bored. - 7:39 PM

Storm warning, beautiful storm clouds and a rainbow tucked in the hills

Chilling @ a nice Holiday Inn Express in Tucumcari, New Mexico. The storms were starting to pick up around us and we didn't want to get caught in anything bad. We will be in Tulsa by tomorrow evening, weather-providing. - 10:19pm

July 15, 2009

What a start to another day of road tripping. A soda exploded all over me, then our rooftop cargo carrier popped open. Could have been bad - 11:46 AM
We are in Texas. Yay! Never met a Texan I didn't like. God's honest truth. - 1:08 PM (changed to central time)
Driving past big, Texas cattle ranch. Put lemon scent lotion under nose to counteract. I now smell lemon-scented cow dung. - 1:58 PM
God, I love Texas. A gentleman just went out of his way to open the door for me, removed his hat, made small talk,and called me "Ma'am" - 2:29 PM
In Oklahoma...still hours of driving ahead - 4:26 PM
In Tulsa! My butt is asleep. I wonder if that is what those coffee enemas are all about. Haha - 8:39 PM
Finally got to Tulsa, got our room in the extended-stay hotel Blaine's dad very graciously booked us in...but the room reeks of cigarettes and is so small we're having a hard time with the 2 kids and luggage. Cait won't stop coughing, my eyes are killing me, they have no other rooms...something tells me we will be having to find a new hotel. - 10:48pm

June 16, 2009

At my mother-in-law's house in Tulsa. We're having a great time! Lasagna for dinner...so good to see the family again. We also got out of the nasty hotel and now have a killer hotel room in a Hampton nearby. - 5:57pm

With my new niece, Naia, who lives in Hawaii. This was the first time I got to meet her...and my sister-in-law!

June 18, 2009

Chilling in the hotel room. Took the kids to the zoo today...I think they are worn out. We're supposed to be visiting their grandpa, but they're both so exhuasted I think they need a break. - 7:49pm

Our family at the Tulsa Zoo

June 19, 2009

Everything's still going great...Just busy days. The kids are having SO much fun with their cousins. I'm so sad that we can't get them all together more often. - 9:41pm

Probably boring...but just Cullen and myself playing ball...but what the heck - I'll post it anyway.

June 21, 2009

Tomorrow morning we leave for Cincinnati...been really enjoying this time with family and we're very sad that we all live so far away. - 11:03pm

The beginning of our journey to Okinawa, Japan

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 07:05:52 GMT

We're here! We made it...in one piece...along with our furniture, which also did not arrive in pieces. All that being said...

For those of you who didn't know...or those new to this blog (welcome, by the way!), we have been told we were getting orders to Okinawa, a prefecture of islands off the south coast of Japan, for over a year now. It's been a year of worrying, stressing, and general anxiety over whether we were going to go and when...but then we were handed a final date and it was time to get moving. In the military, you NEVER can believe you are going anywhere until you are actually on the plane and going. You can never fully believe the rumors. All within a span of a year, we were told all sorts of crazy things about my husband's future...but now, orders are in concrete (actually, I'm here and writing in retrospect). So, this is the story of how you pick up and move your family to a foreign country when you are a complete and total idiot regarding that country, its customs, its people, etc.

Before leaving, though, we decided it might be a good idea to have a last hurrah and go home to visit our families again before we went overseas for 3+ years. I am from Ohio and my husband is from Oklahoma, so that means a LOT of road trips. Especially when we were stationed in California. In this case, I didn't realize the pure facts that driving around in a car for a month and then flying overseas and doing all the work of getting settled is mentally, physically, spiritually exhausting.

I was tired, bone-tired sitting in a half-bare, half-packed house for days. The day before they showed up to take our express shipment, I was freaking out. What the hell was I supposed to pack in my express shipment again? Oh my God, I can't do this...but somehow, we did. We ended up packing all the right things, too...though there may have been a small detail that slipped through the cracks here and there. Only one guy showed up to take our express shipment which consisted of things we would want immediately after we got an empty house (microwave, bedding, small TV, DVD player, lamps, etc.). He packed and boxed everything with care and then he was gone.

The next day, our household goods shipment was supposed to go. This is the shipment that contains all the non-essential things that we could live without for a while, big furniture items, things like that. One English-speaking guy and two other guys that spoke no English whatsoever showed up. They started tearing through our house...and I mean running through like crazy people shoving things in boxes. The English-speaking guy kept following me asking, "Should this go? Should this go? Do you want to pack this?" and the whole time I just wanted to scream, "Dude! Get out of my butt, go play translator with your amigos and I will BRING stuff to you to pack!" I should have done that...because hombre and his amigos ended up packing things that should have been stored and storing things that I wanted packed. All which became evident by noon after which they were already gone. I spent the next two hours cursing under my breath until my husband called the company, complained, and had them send someone who both could speak and understand English perfectly, who waited patiently while we gathered the things they had left behind and boxed them. All the while, we were praying we wouldn't be going over our weight allowance because the idiots had packed several large items of furniture that I had specified I didn't want going (two bookcases). I firmly believe there are some jobs where speaking the language of the people you are dealing with is very, very important. This is one of them.

After that exhausting day, we no longer had a bed to sleep in so it was time for a hotel room on base. We got a hotel room where I was awoken at 4 a.m. by a very large bug who decided to take an early morning jog across my forearm. The third day of moving my true love gave to me...a whole bunch of crap to go in storage, two freaked out kids, and a house that badly needed cleaned. We gave up and hired housekeepers who charged us a ridiculous amount to clean when I could have done it myself for free. Actually, I think they charged us a good rate, but still...I am a cheapskate. I never pay for something I could do myself. Unfortunately, that's often at the expense of my sanity.

The storage guys who came the next morning were actually great. We had a bunch of crap to go in storage and I have no idea why we needed half of it...some of it was stuff we were supposed to sell but some yahoo or another never showed to pick it up and we never had time to just take it to a thrift store. An unbelievable amount of stuff went into storage. It makes me cry thinking of sorting through it all later.

After all of this craziness, most people would have taken a big sigh and said, "It's halfway over!", driven to their new place and happily settled in. This was my first experience with an international move. I now know that it's just not that smooth. After another night in the hotel room where I kept one eye open watching for the insect world's version of Carl Lewis, we were ready to leave....almost.

I could go on writing about all this in glorious detail and carefully constructed prose, but I discovered a very special tool for getting every thought in my spinning head out there as well as giving my friends and family updates on where we were, what we were doing, funny things we saw, etc. - Twitter, of which I could also update my Facebook status. Maybe I've been behind the times, but I hadn't really caught on to the whole text message, updating from cell phone thing. Instead of developing the whole story into a giant mess of prose, I think I'll just swipe my Twitter and Facebook updates for you up to a little before we left to our actual road trip....It should be an easier read. I'll also intersperse video clips and photos from our actual road trip just to make it more fun. The bullet-pointed stuff is my real updates from the trips. I'll add some notes occasionally underneath the bullet points. It's going to take more than one blog post...but hope you enjoy the trip with us from California, Phoenix, Albuquerque, Amarillo, Tulsa, Little Rock, Memphis, Louisville, to Cincinnati and back again...and then the big step: a plane to Okinawa, Japan and our continued adventures here.

May 12, 2009

Just got back from the docs...had my PPD shot. Will get Influenza and Tetanus on Thurs. Tetanus sounds like Tetris...only more painful. - 5:15 pm
All this is in preparation for moving to Japan for three years. Yeehaw! - 5:16 pm

May 23, 2009

Trying to explain to my 2 year-old that Barbie must not like to wear shoes when really the cheap plastic things just won't stay on. - 2:10 pm
It's a bright, sunny day, we're having our yard sale again, making good cash...and an old man tried to show me his groin...Great. - 11:06 am

May 28, 2009

In less than two months, I'll be living in Japan. How does this shit happen? - 1:28 am

May 30, 2009

I would kill someone for the chocolate in their lower intestine right now... - 10:48 pm

June 2, 2009

Final paperwork almost done, moving dates scheduled for next Tues, Wed, Thurs...Husband flapping around the house like an angry, nervous bird dropping poo on my positive mood. Must teach him to RELAX. Everything is going to work out just fine...as long as nobody micromanages me. - 12:04 pm
Pressure is on...going to be insane for the next week. I'd imagine we're leaving here late next week...blargh! I'm going to miss the United States...well, kinda... - 2:03 pm
My son learned how to use a telephone today...and called and irritated the crap out of our neighbors several times before he was caught. He also talked to a telemarketer today. Remind me to hide the phones tomorrow. - 9:55 pm

June 3, 2009

Somehow, both kids ended up in my bed, last night, leaving their father and myself both hanging off the edges. - 7:42 am

June 4, 2009

Going through my clothes...I hate going through clothes because it takes forever, my weight is always fluctuating since having kids and a 5 lb. difference can make or break a shirt. Wondering if I should pack for my fat self or skinny self? I've got to pack for 3 years. I should only pack skinny clothes - then if I get fat, I have nothing to wear. Make myself think twice before eating crap...1:35 pm

June 5, 2009

Laughing because my daughter just locked my son out on the back porch...and he was being a little turd to her so he kinda deserved the revenge. Guess we'll let him suffer for a few and let him back in. - 9:37 am
"And please don't tell me that I'm dreaming When all I ever wanted was to dream another sunset with you If I roll over when it's over I'll take this Cali sunrise with me And wake up with the fondest memories" - 9:52 am
The kids are being hysterical today. Cait's diaper leaked on her chair and Cullen was disgusted. He picks up his chair, shows it to her and says, "LOOK! Cullen not poop on HIS chair..." then he runs in the living room and pats the chair I was sitting on, "Mommy not poop on HER chair! Don't poop on chairs, Caitie! Yucky!!!" - 10:31 am
Going through file cabinets and random paperwork stashed all over the house...How is it that I am just NOW throwing out crappy poetry I wrote 5, 10, 15 years ago? It's ironic the stuff I thought was GOOD then, I now think is awful...and a few lines of stuff I thought was rubbish, I now think, "Wow, brilliant!" - 5:30 pm
I wish I could pack up all my friends and take them with me. Japan is going to be no fun without my best gals by my side laughing @ Engrish - 1:25 pm
I am sorting through stuff to pack...with a buzz going on...This PCS stuff finally got to me so I opened up the first drink I've had in forever so when I pack something completely unfathomable like a dirty diaper, my husband will now know why. - 6:37 pm
is rocking her own line of Homeless Person couture...and I think my husband secretly thinks it's sexy. - 10:17 pm

June 6, 2009

You know how Islam has prayer times? Well, I think the U.S. should have dance times...Where everyone stops everything and dances like an idiot for a minimum of three minutes. And these are the thoughts I am having in the middle of sorting and packing.... - 7:17 pm
Probably driving my husband crazy with hard core Appalachian bluegrass music, but I love this stuff. Holy hell, I'm a hillbilly! - 10:21 pm

June 7, 2009

Been the most unproductive moving day, yet, for me. I have done nothing. NOTHING...except maybe a load of laundry and moving a box from one room to another. I did take a nap and feel more energized...so maybe I'll just make it a late night. - 7:08 pm

June 8, 2009

I'm too old and decrepit for this moving crap. - 12:32 pm
Day 4 of hard core moving and it still looks as if we have no intention to leave. WTF? Did we really accrue this much crap over the years? - 3:08pm

June 9, 2009

BLARGH! Not happy about this move AT ALL, now. The Marine Corps decided that nobody is allowed to live off base in Okinawa, for now. Something about "housing not being full capacity and budget cuts", not sure I believe that. Also not liking the idea of living in nuke range of a psychopath. - 1:14 am
Was up till 4:30 in the morning, last night. Back up at 8:30 to watch our housing people come through with a blacklight to bitch about stains and get snotty with us about cleaning our carpet (b/c it looked nice...& they wanted to be able to charge us for it...haha!). They will still likely charge us for upstairs carpet that wasn't cleaned, yet. Only in base housing... - 9:46 am
Express shipment gone and now I'm realizing all the stuff that probably should have been in it...damn. Doesn't that always happen, though? Tonight is our last night in our house...we'll have to find a hotel for tomorrow night because they're coming to get our beds tomorrow...waaaahhhhhh!!!! - 10:50 am
Great. Hotels on base are all booked tomorrow night. Guess we can all try to squeeze into Cullen's full-size bed...lol - It's going into storage and they don't come to pick it up until Thursday. - 1:27 pm

June 10, 2009

Absolute NIGHTMARE move...Dudes were supposed to have 2 other jobs to do today so they hovered over us while we packed the rest of the stuff. Stuff still here that SHOULD have gone and won't...I am SOOOOO pissed off. They didn't pack things well at all, just threw our stuff around. I'm really going to complain about this. - 10:39 am

June 11, 2009

I'm more tired than I have ever been in my entire life...possibly even more so than when I had a newborn and I am absolutely serious. Only having a demanding, but helpless baby that's demanding all my time, energy, and attention is significantly more cute than my demanding husband. - 5:06 pm
Got everyhing straightented out, but my God, do we ever have a lot of luggage that we are going to have to take on the plane. This is not going to be fun. I guess we leave and head to Phoenix tomorrow. - 5:12 pm
It's been a really long day and I am really sad about having to give up our house. We loved our house, our view of the lake, etc. Now we're all holed up in a hotel room and tired. Walking through those rooms one last time is enough to kill us sentimental people. - 9:46 pm
Testing to see if I can txt updates so I can be in touch on the road. :) - 11:16 pm

June 12, 2009

Cullen keeps referring to our hotel room as "our new house". Feels really weird to now be homeless. - 8:37 am
Still sitting in the hotel room waiting for Blaine to get done doing last minute errands. We're over an hour late for checkout now. I've given up on cleaning up the hotel room. Every time I pick the kids' stuff up, they scatter it all over again anyway. - 11:14 am
I am starting to think we will never leave Pendleton. Blaine is missing paperwork. Sitting in car, screaming kids, bladder about to burst. - 1:53 pm
In Oceanside still. I have not eaten a single bite of food, today and am being told it is my fault and can suffer. Hunger is making me crazy - 4:52 pm
Oh yes...and screaming kids. Icing on the cake. - 4:55 pm
2 hours later...and we are finally just leaving the Sears parking lot where we have been assembling and installing a cargo carrier on roof. - 7:07 pm
Oh...and I ate a cracker. Best damn cracker I ever had. - 7:11 pm
We are on the 15 now. Just saw 4 highway patrol cars and 6 officers helping one officer changing a flat tire. Joke anyone? - 7:50 pm
Just leaving Yuma,which is apparently land of 1000 Jesus tee shirts judging by the gas station we were just in. - 11:13 pm

Blaine gives an update on our first day on the road...after doing some pretty crappy, tired, road dancing...

Now this is funny - forgive the beginning where it blurs out for a second...but I caught my son lip-syncing to the radio.
He didn't realize he was being filmed, but he got sooo embarrassed when he finally does see that I've got his Jared Leto antics on camera.

One of the coolest moons I've ever seen over the Arizona desert.
My daughter kept saying, "Look Mommy! We're driving to the moon!"
It's all a really cool optical illusion, but the moon as large as it was with the clouds partly covering it makes it look like a planet.

June 13, 2009

Mile markers are like hope or despair on a stick. 90 more miles? Oh shit. 30 more miles? Almost there.In this case, 92 more miles to Phoenix - 12:46 AM
For those that don't already know and are asking why we're going the opposite direction from Japan, we are going home to visit family before going over. We got into Phoenix about 2:30 this morning, next we'll go to Tulsa and see family for about a week and then to Cincinnati to visit...and then back again. We'll fly out of LAX to Japan July 8th. - 11:09am
Decided to take some R&R in Phoenix instead of driving again, today. My brother-in-law and his fiancée cooked us breakfast, then we all took the kids to the pool and watched them freak out because the water was cold. I LOVE the weather here! Was nice to be in hot weather again since Cali has been cold, lately. I think I actually got a tan. Phoenix is awesome. - 8:24pm
Arrgh. I really don't want to go to Okinawa, now. It's just a hot mess over there and I think I'm going to be really lonely. I've made good friends. I like hanging onto the friends I've got, not having to go out and try making new ones. - 8:54pm

June 14, 2009

Just watched Gran Torino with the husband...and I was really disappointed. I thought it was going to be an awesome movie...but it was pretty bad. Some funny parts, but overall, very lame. - 12:02am
Outside of Payson, Arizona. Flying through small mountain ranges, sun shining,hair pulled back, foot out window, wind on face, feeling alive - 12:29 pm

I guess my kids didn't enjoy the breeze as much as we did. They are a little spoiled on A/C in the car.

Some of the beauty of roadside Arizona. This was shot between Phoenix and Payson.

Evidence on tape of my husband threatening to bury my body in the desert...and me threatening back.
My husband also, like many military on leave, decides he would like to grow a beard. He knows I hate facial hair on him.
Don't worry too much...it's all playful banter and we talk like this to each other all the time.

We made it to Okinawa!

Thu, 06 Aug 2009 08:15:13 GMT

When the wind from the passing typhoon stops screaming so loud and I can hear myself think again...there will be a new blog - finally! We have made it to Okinawa and are now settled in our apartment. Will I have a lot to tell? Well, does a cat have balls? Don't think about that one too hard....and I'll be back soon!

Final Days of Packing...

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 02:45:56 GMT

I don't remember where the hell I left off.

I suppose it doesn't matter, but I've been thinking lately...man, I should blog again! I'd probably write some pretty good shit. See, I'm finally in the frame of mind to write again. I'm myself again...because as the days get closer to us leaving, I'm becoming more and more ME. I have a sense of humor again. I'm laughing at nothing, again. My husband is giving me the, "Have you lost your @#$%ing mind?" look again. Those are all actually positive signs.

Right now, I'm sitting in what was once Cait's room...but was Cullen's for a while before that...but now it's a spare room again. A spare room stacked with mountains of shit I don't know what to do with.

I'm a sentimental idiot so this packing up and moving thing is HARD for me. Really hard. I keep coming across lame things that I can't throw away. "Oh man, I can't throw away these underwear! I know they're holey...but I was wearing them the night I was at that 3-story club with Kimberly, my fellow flight attendant...and we started flirting with these really ugly guys and they bought us drinks and I got so drunk I ripped my hair extension thing off my head, waved it around and screamed, 'THIS IS FAKE!!!' to the whole bar! Then, I went in the bathroom stall and nearly peed down my leg trying to pull my underwear down....Oh! And then I became fixated on staring at those underwear around my thighs for like, five minutes, until Kim came looking for me asking if I had died....and then I just laughed, washed my hands, and had another drink."

Okay, to most, that would make no sense as a "fond" memory...but it's one of those ones that's got to sweeten with age...even if said underwear sure hasn't sweetened any. Why is it that when you're drunk, everything seems much more profound?

Then there are the baby clothes...and the baby stuff...most of which I've already sold in a yard sale, but some of the things hold so much memory that I can't let it go. I can remember my kids wearing it and I love holding up their clothes and marveling at how tiny they really were. I could do this for hours, but it tears at my heartstrings so much that I just wish I could keep that stuff forever in the large plastic totes they were stored in and not have to look at it again. Nothing hurts as much as your kids growing up.

All of this also begs the issue of, "Are we done?" Are we really done having kids? I mean, we live in a society where people really HATE people who have kids. Seriously, it seems like there are always at least two news stories about bad mothers and people love gawking at people who have more than six kids like they are some kind of human freak show. Being someone who came from large families, I can't understand all this. Doing my family tree, I discovered ancestors who had about 16 kids...but nobody was calling them for a reality show. I don't look down my nose at The Duggars - What are they on, now? About 18 kids or something? All conceived naturally and they're all great, well-behaved kids? Whose business is it anyway?

I'm trying to decide whether or not to pack the maternity clothes. I always wanted a big family IF I was going to have one. Well, the seal is already broken. When I tell people I might like to have four, they give me disgusted looks and say things like, "Are you crazy?" Hmm...well, in my family, it seems like four kids were the standard. It's not all that odd to me. However, I wouldn't have been unhappy had I found out I was infertile, either. There are so many positives about BOTH lifestyles. Attitudes about kids have really changed from when I was growing up, though.

Of course, back then, we weren't all raised with some self-important schtick about how we were supposed to be "empowered" women and sew up our vaginas, put on a business suit, make a lot of money to buy a lot of materialistic shit we didn't need to impress a lot of shallow people we didn't like anyway. We were raised to believe that family was the most important thing. It was OKAY if a woman stayed home with her kids. It didn't make her a fat, lazy bon-bon eater who watched soap operas.

So, I don't know whether to pack those maternity clothes or not. I'm not getting any younger.

There's so much else that's breaking my heart to leave. I wanted to bring a few pieces of furniture so our new home would feel like "home", but then I read all these people saying to pack as little of your own stuff as possible because the movers must drop your stuff from cliffs before you see it again. They've all claimed that half their stuff was broken. It would probably hurt worse to be looking forward to those items only to open them and find them all broken. I don't know what to bring, either.

Then, there is the house itself. It's military housing - stupid, silly me for getting attached, I know...but it's home and has been for the last 4½ years. It was Cullen's first home...and Cait's. They took their first steps in the living room. There is still a crayon drawing on the wall...Cullen somehow did a sneaky portrait of four stick figures. It was the first time we ever realized he could draw stick people...and it was so cute, we had to keep it. Four misshapen little stick people that I'm going to have to take a Mr. Clean magic eraser to...and it's going to rip my heart out, too.

The house is still so full of our stuff and so full of clutter that it hasn't all hit me, yet...but I know the rush of emotions is really going to hit and it's going to suck. Of course, I'm hoping some of this is going to be subdued by the fact that we're going to Japan...and there is so much to think about and so much to do.

The movers will be here next week to start packing and crating our stuff...and then we're going on another cross-country road trip. My sister saw our previous road trip movie and told me I should do it again...so I'll probably film it again...only this should be much better because we have an HD camera that actually zooms and films more than a few minutes at a time. I'm going to turn into a Japanese tourist. Our country is so freaking cool and I love driving across it. We've got the friendliest people and some of the coolest things to see and do. I've loved living here...and I'll love it again when we return, assuming politics doesn't implode the country and destroy my mothership. I'd be pissed.

Here's hoping we don't get caught in any tornadoes this time, either. That part kind of sucked. My husband will not be forcing us to drive through severe storms in the middle of nowhere Oklahoma. Now I've got to figure out what to do about this whole guitar thing...How will I live without my guitar until it arrives in express shipment? Okay, headaches...

But I thought I really should get on here and update about what's going on. Believe me, my own best friend has rarely heard from me in a month. All I can think about is tying up loose ends...but I should blog more. There will be SO much to write about!

Updates, Facebook, Guys That Bang Crap on Their Heads and Yell, "F@#$ YEAH!!!" A Lot

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 07:38:52 GMT

I can probably count down in days how long it will be before we are supposed to be leaving our home for the last four years and taking off for the unknown (aka. Japan), but I don't want to.

My range of emotions about the move have been exhausted. Right now, it doesn't even feel real because the date has been moved so many times. Several months ago, we got another extension on the date which then put it at reporting by June 1st. That means we are supposed to have the house packed up by the end of this month so we can get back home and see family before we move. However, my husband and I have been on a lazy streak regarding the move. We've been waiting so long for it that it's kind of like we don't even care anymore.

My dental work is almost done and my new smile looks brilliant. I'm very happy with it...and my dentist has been wonderful. I actually ended up befriending the whole staff at the dental office so it was a shock to me when they told me their office on Camp Pendleton would be closing. Their military contract had run out and they were being replaced with a better bidder whose dental offices promised massaging dental chairs, video players, video games, etc. I don't know about you, but I don't want to have a dentist working on my dental work on me while I'm sitting in a chair that's vibrating. A millimeter of error could you have screaming in agony. No thanks.

I had to switch to another dentist's office in order to complete all my work. Fortunately, it was an office where several of my favorite dental office people went to. I'll try to cough up some pictures after the final work is done in a few weeks. The only problem is all this flossing and constant taking care of my teeth takes so much freaking time. My nightly routine easily takes a half hour now.

There has been so much going on and I get so neglectful in writing blogs that I can't remember where I left off. Honestly, I always think I need to keep up my blogs...both here and on my fitness site (I'm working out again hard core!), but it just seems like I never get to ANYTHING until 10:00 at night...and by then, I'm exhausted. I don't even get to calling my friends and I'm sure they are starting to hate me. I try to log onto Facebook every time I get a spare second to let people know what I'm doing. I tried Twitter, but just didn't see the point. I was following one person and getting about 10 texts a day of something as silly as song lyrics. I loved reading his quips because he's a pretty damn funny friend...but I just got tired of my phone going off every hour. I couldn't hack it and I have the world's bitchiest husband when it comes to my phone.

It makes no sense...His phone rings 20 times a day, sometimes. He has a vast array of friends, due to being in the military and making friends at every unit. I have a very small circle of friends that I actually speak on the phone to. Only one that I talk to at least a few times a week...and sometimes, when we're both REALLY bored, just about every day. My husband has a bitch fit when my phone rings. "Arrgh! What is that? Who is calling you now? What do they want?!" He also doesn't understand my friend and I talking on the phone at 10 p.m. and later. That's the only time either of us don't have a child hanging from our legs and screaming. It's the only sane time where we can hear each other without having to say, "HUH??? WHAT??? HOLD ON...I HAVE TO TURN THE VOLUME DOWN ON THE NOGGIN CHANNEL..."

I guess it's a "Mom thing". If you're read my blog in the past year or so, you know this whole motherhood thing has gotten to me in some negative ways. I really haven't sounded much like the person whose blog you originally started reading have I? I used to be a lot sillier than this. I never used to be so serious. I just never realized what I was getting into...but whoever told me it only got harder lied. It is getting so much easier now that my son is old enough to do more things to himself. It's getting easier knowing that if my 2 year-old ventures out of her room at six a.m, she's not going to kill herself or burn the house down...she's more than likely just going to get into the refrigerator and steal some cheese or a banana. Actually, she did that this morning. Before 7 a.m, before Cullen and I were up and moving, she ate six bananas by herself. They must have made her poop, too, because that's all she did today.

I'm happy to report that the old me is venturing out a lot more, lately. My husband is mad because his friends from a gun forum he belongs to are telling him how funny I am. He's not MAD...but I can tell he's quietly annoyed. They think I'm funny because they've been introduced to me through comments left for my husband on Facebook. I know he secretly doesn't like the open forum of Facebook...where your friends can intermingle with your wise-cracking wife. I'm new to Facebook...and I hated it, at first, but then I started finding it fascinating. I'm still not sure how much I like the fact that everyone can read what I'm saying. My friend really married a cool guy...and we like to talk religion, but that's kind of a personal subject for me. I don't always like to talk about it with everyone...yet, everyone can see my views. I also don't really care for being OVERTLY political. As in, most people know my views. It's not a big secret, but I just don't like shoving those views down the throats of others much. It's weird knowing my thoughts on religion are out there for everyone to read. There are friends who are more liberal that I would kind of tone that part of myself down around.

Does that mean I'm different around different people? Yes. Isn't everybody? HONESTLY? Nobody likes to admit it...but they are. You're always going to talk differently to your 80 year-old grandmother and differently to your Harley-riding friend who smashes beer bottles against his head and likes to say, "F#$@ YEAH!!!" a lot.

Facebook poses a dilemma...because here you have people you went to high school with, (who seem to add me all the time, even though they hated my guts in high school, which I don't get), my military friends made here in Cali, my relatives from two different sides of my family, my sisters, my childhood friends, my friends from various health & fitness sites, etc.

It's hard to communicate with all these people in the same realm. It really is. I know there are friends of mine that are like oil and water...and I just wait for them to clash. I already had someone else's friend call me "stupid" today because I made a joke about a popular book series prophesying Obama as the anti-christ. It was totally a tongue-in-cheek joke. I would never seriously believe that, even if he's not my choice, but the guy called me stupid. I was having an intelligent conversation on religion with the friend I was originally talking to when this dude kept butting in with jackass comments. My friend sent me a private message explaining that his friend was on a feeding tube and hated life and people in general. He was a bitter guy on his death bed. Yikes. I'm glad I didn't start any comment with, "Look, you asshole..." I sure thought it, though.

I have views on things that seriously conflict with a lot of my friends...and I'm having to learn to let it all hang out and accept the backlash or shut up. I'm not one for shutting up and not commenting to one friend because another friend might not agree. As a peacemaker, Facebook can sometimes suck....but it does have it's redeeming points:

Mafia Wars.

I never got into it on Myspace, but now I'm playing this stupid game all the time. My husband is addicted...and we've had other friends recently become addicted, too. My brother-in-law is even addicted...and I get damn sad when I see in the game that someone took a bullet for me helping me fight some schmuck on the internet named "Don Pullmyfinger". When tired of trying to tiptoe around my friends' religious and political beliefs, I spend hours pining for energy paks.

My blood pressure rises a few points every time I get robbed and I've been known to blurt out, "Bitch! You're going DOWN!" after a particularly nasty robbing. Then, if I can't fight them or rob them back, I put them on the hit list over and over. My husband threatened intervention when I mentioned that I wished Ebay had a 'Add to hitlist' button for those bidders that swoop in and steal an auction from me in the final seconds after I had been pining over the item for weeks.

Speaking of Ebay, I have been an ordering fool lately...ordering no less than 10 books and getting a lot of Old Navy tank tops...11 of them for about $22. That's a damn good deal. Some are still new with tags. I'm excited. I've gotten a lot of new stuff, lately, since we're getting ready to move. I don't get new stuff very often. I probably won't get new stuff for a while...so I'm pretty happy.

So what's up with the working out again? I haven't exactly gotten fat or anything, but taking over 6 months off after that last challenge started me on the Fast Track to Fat Ass. I feel like I'm a PVC pipe with a too-thick layer of insulation. That's the best way I can express to people how my body puts on weight. Some might say I am lucky...that ALL my fat doesn't accumulate on one part of my body. That's the thing people NEVER understand when they see my before challenge photos. I've heard countless people say, "You weren't that fat. Do you have some kind of eating disorder?" Well, my body fat percentages beg to differ.

I gain weight all over. It's not a question of IF I was fat...it was a question of how I carried that fat. I'm genetically blessed to carry it well so as not to appear fat. I actually don't look bad, now, and I'm at a good bodyfat percentage, but I don't want to simply look thin. I want to be athletic which involves endurance, stamina, weight training, and being able to kick ass. I have a Wonder Woman fantasy, I guess.

A few people asked me on MySpace what happened to my before/after photos on there. I took them down because I had some creep that I don't even know on my friend's list who was making comments about them, telling me I looked better at certain weights. Now #1, I don't know this guy from Adam and have no idea how he got on my friend's list. #2, Hey asshole, what weight I want to be and what level of muscularity is MY choice, not yours. #3, Some weird dude checking out my body kind of freaked me out. I don't mind my body being used for educational or curiosity purposes regarding exercise. Stupidly, I took the photos down instead of deleting the guy who freaked me out. I will go back and do that when I remember to log back onto MySpace again.

In any case, it's late and I'm very tired...so that means this blog is probably really lame and really lame blogs should end...and end fast. No, I'm not shutting down my blog. I haven't given up Xanga. I will return. I'm just kind of dumbstruck these days when I start thinking of all the stuff we have to get done to move. We're only about 3 weeks away from leaving (we plan on leaving here in April, traveling home throughout all of May, leaving for Okinawa about the last week of May)...and I'm starting to feel kind of sad, bummed, and just want to mope. I'm happy. I'm not depressed like I have been for a while now, but I'm just in one of those quiet, reverent moods, lately. Don't forget about me. I haven't forgotten about you. Actually, this blog wasn't so painful to write. I think I'll write another one soon.